Post by DazListic on Jan 6, 2005 7:16:54 GMT
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm
positive..."
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't
Serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
this taste funny to you?"
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
Doc says "It's Not Unusual."
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet,
"let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes,
then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him
down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.
I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him £50 that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said he couldn't
bet me 'cause the steaks were too high.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.